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It's well-past lunchtime on a Wednesday and I have forgotten to bring my lunch. I do a quick mental scan of my options...Wendy's? Long John Silver's? Burger King? Sundry other fast food choices a little further down the street...I'm just hungry. I don't want to spend time trying to figure out what I CAN eat at one of these places, and I know when I go through the drive thru I'm going to smell fries and get all angry because I can't just eat what I want.
As I sit debating with myself, it's like an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. The devil says, "You don't have time, just get the burger you want. A burger, with cheese and mayo and lots of fries, maybe a nice giant Coke full of sugary goodness and caffeine. Mmmmmmcaffeine." The angel is arguing calmly, "You know what you should do. Stick to your diet; you know what's good for you." But then two other voices chime in as well. It's quite crowded in my head. There's that critical voice, the one that's so pessimistic, so mean. "You know you're not going to stick with this, just like all the other times. Why don't you just give it up, go get the big greasy burger and get it over with. Then you can just quit and we can have ice cream later to celebrate. What made you think you could do this anyway? You're too weak to succeed and you don't deserve to anyway." Then the voice of reason. The voice that got me started on this to begin with. "If it's that big of a deal and you really think you need it, get the burger then get back on track. But just decide and move on. It's just a burger. You know you can live without it, and you know in the long run you'll be happy you didn't have it, but seriously just decide. You can get the burger and keep within your points, you can go over your points and start again tomorrow, or you can let the burger derail all your effort. Or better yet, you can just skip it and celebrate your restraint. But if you do get the burger, don't beat yourself up, don't let it stop you, and just make a better choice next time. Better yet, if you get the burger do it without the cheese and the mayo. Make it a kid-sized burger and celebrate that choice. Whatever you do just do it because your stomach is getting really cranky." No burger, coupled with a good for you! from the angel and the voice of reason was what I had for lunch that Wednesday. Good for me making better choices; good for me not listening to that critical voice in my head. I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and gosh darn it, people like me. Or something--ok that crack may have come from the critical voice; it tends to be slightly sarcastic. I'm not sure if this really falls under inspiration or delirious ranting, but either way here it is for your consideration. I'll just be here enjoying every bite of my lovely grilled chicken sandwich. |
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